my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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