i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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