I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
