This is not my ceiling
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
