Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
