so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
