I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
