Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
