Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
you never un-have a 4some
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
