Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
