Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
