Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
