I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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