two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize
