hotel room ftw
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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