The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
