the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
