Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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