Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The feeling are messing with the penis
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
