She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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