So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
