I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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