I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I am one with the molecules
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
is it fun? or sober?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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