Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
