i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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