Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
