I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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