is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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