i permit you to call me
so explain again why im purple
no
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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