just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
