I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize