I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
