that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
