Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
