I want to walk on stilts...naked
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
