yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
