Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
