Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize