This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
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