Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
