so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
