i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
