I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
