areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
