I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
