the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
