If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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