Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
