who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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