new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
