She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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