People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I could fuck to npr.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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