it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
