I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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