Will you blow on my dice?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize