What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
