you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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