You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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