last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize